he paid for a daughter he would never have
and she paid for her son’s life
life has a lifelong price
fear works hard to get the money
took his money, took his daughter
*
and my father became my father
indebted, death threats around his neck
self-exiled, daughterless, homeless
*
there is no such thing
as rebuilding everything from scratch
my father is a haunted man
turning the clock back in too many directions
the mother tongue in my father’s mouth
turns sour and polluted, dissolves in my throat
*
my father is a target
and we rush through his birthplace city
nothing to see
nothing to see here
except me
and everything that was never meant to be
Croque-Melpomene 