she spent her birthday
saying goodbye to your body
*
in the parking lot of a hotel
my uniform got wet
I had my mother on the phone
I had lost my grandmother then and there
a voice on the phone
cut my shift short
grief walked me home
and whispered
I’ll stay
*
your deaths came a few months apart
I incorporated loss
something enters your body
and becomes a part of you that belongs to you
that you haven’t baptised yet
because you can’t put your finger on it
can’t find it
can’t name it
hold still
Croque-Melpomene 