madonna mia | a poem

les anges te caressent, maudlin-faced, sacrifice

I’ll rid myself of you, roadmap, altar fires

the linens of Persephone, surrender, intact spine

your childhood lies elsewhere, follow the bed of withered flowers

vergewissere dich, sturdy within the frameworks, knock, knock

village mentality, mouldy locks, ironing board

grief-blotched in retrospect, stop it right there, siren rope

I spent too much time in rooms dominated by mediocre devils

fammi vedere, saxophone cacophony, a girl swam through a dirty river

and she made it out alive, got her head out of the fishbowl

choleric men hold on, consuming halos, buying halos

crescent body engraved, made the curve, oleander bones

would you be more careful if you knew how decipherable you really are

fermati, starved memory, kitchen knife, scorched earth inside

anger would always be an act of vengeance

anger would always be a threat from deep underneath

whiskers in a box, half-smiles locked inside, inaccessible

anger would always come out of his sulphurous crevices

not out of the moment, my anger would stem from necessity

and self-preservation, benachteiligt

lasciami stare, I can’t pity you any longer, j’en ai assez

he taught me that I am abandonable, neglectable

the edge of a page, feet deceased in white socks, child’s play

but I learned how to be two steps ahead, unlearned the archaeology

à pied, a girl with long braids, la pietà, ricordati, Hungerlohn

and live on my own terms in the body (s)he gave me

choir laughter, in a no-man’s-land, in pace, verstorben, mauve-cheeked

and he who has preached abandonment has done nothing but seek me out

bones of Athena, toute seule, torched mouth of hell, debout, debout