he created a little girl
one more
she looked like her mother
that’s what he wanted
she was supposed to be dutiful
keep his wife locked in a cage
look at her eyes
look at your own
you cannot leave now
*
the girl was very young
she’d never have a childhood
he was never there
and if he was it wasn’t good
she needed special attention, special care
the mother did all she could
and needed to leave
*
the daughter was lost in space
in a big torn house
children at each other’s throats
parental mouths, one shouting, the other swallowing
one leaving, one haunting
he saw what he could get from his daughter
what she was ready to offer
to make someone stay
she had no idea
she was a child still
always had been
*
she believed his words
she believed his attention
it came back from the dead
those big blue eyes were not useless after all
he was looking for an ally
a clean slate
a blank page
baby girl with the blonde hair looking like Mommy
the inaccessible wife, the cold marital bed
he put a child inside
and spoke of love
he held his daughter in a fetal position
rocking her body back and forth
comfort me, hold me, stay here with me
and she felt so loved
his body against hers
she took what she could get
he took what he could get
draining daughters, needing daughters
empty house, warm sheets
come back to me, I’m still here
please, don’t leave me
*
it would never be enough
my warm body would never be enough
my face would never be enough
your daughter is not your doll
your daughter is not your wife
your wife is not your toy
you are looking for a mother to play with
to absorb, to fill yourself with
you take and take from women’s bodies
until they forget their names
until their bodies belong to you
until they give without taking
that’s what you were taught
women serve you head to toe
*
and you take your daughter to bed
wishing you were dead
holding her close
imagining that your wife is still near
Croque-Melpomene 