charlatanlovetheatrics | a poem of origins

you are still father

I am still daughter


cages apart




you cannot come closer




you drowned me in the big picture

as I got entangled in the fraudulent details


love was a verbalised emptiness


love was slight force to get in


love hid everything backstage


love wove paradise around the cliffs of hell


love played children’s games through adult bodies

love played adult games with children’s bodies


I nurtured the jealousy of an abused ghost


I did not exist anymore


Only what you’d take from me

what you’d see in me

and what not

what I was good for

shrinking into the abyss

mourning my body, after body, after body

“Rückenansicht eines Mädchens im blauen Rock” by Egon Schiele (1890-1918)

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