you left behind
the history of empty rooms.
*
I go back to abandoned homes
and my mind is full of ghosts
*
how long does it take
the senses to lose their memory?
*
all I see is a bag on a bridge
*
all I feel is a man’s body
all alone
*
and all I can do
to be with you
is to go back
on my own
*
life means something else
to every single person
*
I put your clothes on me
I put your clothes on me
I put your clothes on me
*
you took death into your own hands
*
and I learned that
nothing is ever out of the question
*
you
destroyed
yourself
*
I am trying to put you back together
in my body
*
you’re alive in my dreams
but death is never far away
*
a delivery arrived for you
long after your funeral
*
all I see is ghosts
in that country
*
home became a graveyard
without bodies
*
laughter can be as close to death
as anything else
*
Pont Adolphe, Pont Adolphe,
you let him go, you let him go
*
falling out of the sky
*
nobody had seen
the resignation in your face
who walked amongst you
who walked next to you
who walked past you
as you were on your way
*
nothing could pull you back into life
*
you had already shut down
step
by
step
by
step
*
she knew when she saw them
with your bag
*
our mother looks at me
and all I can see
is your death all over her face
*
I can’t breathe
*
you befriended your end
(in a matter of seconds?)
*
a man of actions and words
what if you had chosen words that day
*
I wouldn’t be wearing your socks out
I wouldn’t have emptied your room
I would still receive voicemails
I would
I wouldn’t
I would
that’s never ever the point
*
this is what you wanted
and that’s what pushes me to the edge
to understand
*
for you
it was a decision like any other
a choice
free will
free fall
and I stand by you
despite the fact that
standing on that bridge
makes me want to scream my heart out
Croque-Melpomene 