The Fire Within The Pyrite Stone: A Poem

It’s hard to believe that your voice is no more.

It’s in my head, it resonates. Forever?

I consider it a part of me. The way it sounded.

The tone, the substance and softness.

I turn myself inside-out here.

I am so vulnerable. And I feel you there.

I am setting boundaries.

I give you space and time in daylight.

You need to understand me.

I don’t want to be scared.


This love hurts as well.

I need to find ways to make it grow in healthy ways.

I am exploring. Figuring out what works, what feels right.

Anything can feel fertile.

I want to step into the sane traces, rays of hope.

There are times when I live and what happened

Steps backstage.

Then your face reappears and I’m right back in the disappearance

Of you, right back on track where I lost you

In a form that can be seen and touched so easily.


I give you light. I hold you.

I know you’re safe and not alone.

I love you. I accept you.

Not a day passes without me speaking to you,

Thinking about you, the way you were,

The way I want to remember you.

No idealisation, no demonisation, pure humanisation.

I find strength in my fragility.

I’m in touch with you.

And it hurts, I ache, I long for your presence

But I cannot walk backwards, step back into the past

That cannot be conquered, everything happened,

And I am here, talking to the wound within me.

topless woman standing near shadow
Photo by Julia Kuzenkov on

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