There is a loss within my body,
The structure of my family,
A part collapsed to dust, I
Build a shrine where it disentangled,
A shrine of love and light,
Where words are spoken to always
Call you home when you need it,
When we need it, the loss is outside of my
Body, too. I cannot hold on to what is lost.
You want me to accept your death, and love you still,
You want me to remember you, the big
Picture of us, how we used to sing, and get
Together, be free, outside of the box, always.
There is nothing that could eradicate my love for you.
Even if you lost faith or sight of it, it has always been there.
You could have held on. But you were always free.
Free to stay, free to choose, free to leave, even wordlessly.
I understand. I see you. I will take that wave and conquer it.
You went back to a place where nothing is expected of you.
You thought about how you wanted to survive.
And you will, my window is open to let you in and out,
To sense you in rays of sunshine, to hear you laugh,
I see you in your childhood love and the love of your life,
In all the lives you brightened up, the smiles on your friends’ faces,
The heart that beats in my chest, thinking of us, thinking of you,
You and I, made out of fairy dust.