In Memoriam: “Seen By Everyone Except Gen Ema”: A Poem

I run into you. I want to run into you.

Every time I see your name appear

I feel the heat in my stomach, the image

Of your face that I kissed, the depth, our

Mother’s sounds and her eyes staring at me,

The words she spoke to me that changed my life.

I hold your objects in my arms.

Every time I want to cry I tell

Myself that you’d want me to smile.

You look straight at me and I look back,

I try not to shudder, not to despair,

I try to conjure up the lightheartedness

That I envied you for, the sense of humour,

And I think of you as alive and radiant,

Your essence is here, everything that I cannot

Touch or see, but you, what really composed you.

I feel the need to write you.

People are laughing. People

Are working and living and eating

As if you hadn’t died, as if nothing

Happened and amidst them I stand

And mourn you behind a face mask,

And I reconnect with life, with routines,

With my hands doing things, with sounds

Outside of me, and with you, in your new

Form, you celestial treasure, I hold you so close.

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Published by Croque-Melpomene