You cradled my body
And I sensed decay moving in on me.
You wanted me on all fours,
Attached to your skin,
Engulfing me, you, your majestic doom.
My face against a cold window
The coffin made out of glass
The taste vanishing from memory
The gaze within nightmares
And the red numbers reducing time.
I think of you and ask myself
How much is left
To live between the two of us.
Did we tell each other the truth?
Did we let it out?
Not just rehearsed in front of silent mirrors?
You wondered around, impatient, bored,
Mocking everything in sight, smoking your cigarettes, pretending
Not to know better, no matter what, you always
Thought you were better, ashamed of who we were.
We are the products of your absence
The backlash of your presence
I can’t sleep at night,
Hands on me, fists on him, pow
Pow, pow, in our faces, on our bodies,
Your monsters were sealed on our skin.
I smell you in the blink of an eye.
I still escape you sitting still.
Hear your voice when I look
At myself in the mirror.
When I shower and feel rotten.
When I cook and shrink within the pot.
When I eat and taste your breath in my food.