I wonder who you’d have become
Had you tasted your own medicine.
Would you still drive from one girl
To the next?
Tell them how much you adore them
Whilst you have the ending in mind already?
Why could you never say that sex was all you
Wanted to do? Why invent fairy tales?
And you think of them as little girls.
Maybe you should have stuck to playing with
Whatever you played with instead of embodying
Someone you could never be, doing things you
Thought you were good at just because you increasingly lured
Your way in. In secret.
They’d scratch each other’s eyes out or
Just had no idea that they’d coincided in your sick universe.
You were so scared to be badmouthed, you’d send them on
The scaffold instead for something that you both did together.
You could never be as thick-skinned as the girls you messed with.
Sadly, it only took a guy like you for them to impale one another
For your artificial niceties. You cooked them and then let them rot
Trusting a kind of love that was never there and had no name.
You’d make their stomachs burn.
You made them obey, you seduced them into submission,
Spreading their legs when you needed it, you’d
Always assume you’d be on the same page.
And they slowly felt so tiny and powerless and exchangeable
That they thought they had to let you in, get it over with,
They wanted to please you after all, you hit that note,
That note that had always existed in their bodies and
You took it further.
Distorted it, made it yours, you’d ring the bells,
They’d jump, brokenheartedly.
You guilt-tripped them into absorbing you, gaslighted them into
Your traps, into your crotch, and it would never be enough.
You’d always remain a gluttonous boy who never heard the word “no”.
You erased it. You never heard it. You killed it.
You took what you wanted and needed.
Desire was a thing that just had to follow.
Once you ransacked their bodies.
Nothing you knew of lust and intimacy.
You were addicted and shallow, numbed yourself against the world
You lived in.
You wanted to set everything afire
Because you had already been burnt-out.