I hold on to the sound of your voice.
Find my way back to my mother tongue, to you.
The way I choose to remember you.
I walk back into that room to see your face,
How your bright blue eyes embraced me from afar,
The way your cheeks formed a smile that made me feel safe.
I reconstruct what others would deem lost and gone,
But that’s where I find our love in my body, in my skin.
The way you touched me when I cried, when I took on your scent,
The powder, yours, that I hold close to my own chest.
I go to all the places in my mind to find you again
And I believe in your freedom now. I could sense it in my bones
How you longed for peace, to be a part of trees, to run wild with cats,
To wander through the air and be weightless amongst the elements.
I evoke your steps up the stairs, how your strong hands held on
To the balustrade, how we found one another, we could be miserable
And joyous together. You were fearless and full of fears, I can see me there too.
I look up to you and at the same time I taste the same despair.
I will never forget how you repeated my name, my nickname,
And I was convinced that death could never take our love away from us.