Vernichtungswahn | poetry

you never had the decency to leave

the sanity to disappear

you’re the begging shadow underneath my locked door

you just won’t let me go

I don’t know what it is

about destruction that appeals to you so much

to an unwholesome degree

you loved to see my face change into the insults you screamed at me

you held her too close to your body

and you lied to her about love

you don’t know what that is

the words you taught me

were targeting me

turned me into an object

that ought to break

under your pressure

under your harassment and violence

I won’t let my body fall asleep

next to yours

why did you want my body next to yours

the words that I internalised

were supposed to give you what you want

but you never raised me

I taught myself to understand where my pain is coming from

and who has never stopped to cause it

My own drawing © Laura Gentile 2023 | Instagram: croque_melpomene

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