you never had the decency to leave
the sanity to disappear
you’re the begging shadow underneath my locked door
you just won’t let me go
I don’t know what it is
about destruction that appeals to you so much
to an unwholesome degree
you loved to see my face change into the insults you screamed at me
you held her too close to your body
and you lied to her about love
you don’t know what that is
the words you taught me
were targeting me
turned me into an object
that ought to break
under your pressure
under your harassment and violence
I won’t let my body fall asleep
next to yours
why did you want my body next to yours
the words that I internalised
were supposed to give you what you want
but you never raised me
I taught myself to understand where my pain is coming from
and who has never stopped to cause it
Croque-Melpomene 