it’s the nice face
with the bad hands
that calls me home
calls me to bed
*
nice velvet words at night
saviour on the edge
your voice sounds good to a child
but your hands
your body
you’re taking care of me
how can this be a bad thing
*
how can you be bad if you’re so good
to me
*
how can dragging us into your bed
rid me of all memories
but my body knows
my body shows
my body remembers
and you hurt
*
and I still think that everything
is perfect
the childhood that you discarded for me
perfect
parroting
I’m on fire
perfect
*
make space for me
made space for you
open wide
let me in
be kind
be gentle
just like that
*
you think that words disappear
that my body swallows everything
you hope that I’ll disappear
make you disappear
this, underneath the blanket
the past that reoccurs and never gets enough
one more time, one more smile
one more night
come to me
I’ll hold you tight
you transformed my body then and there
and I trust you to be the best
the counterpart to my father’s overt violence
but that was your way in, wasn’t it
play the part of the exact opposite
and fool a child
Croque-Melpomene 