at some point I gave up
I put myself to rest
I embodied what you expected of me
and lied to myself
until lies became acts
and I shrank within myself
disappeared
reappeared as your desires
and still you were not satisfied
I was not whole
I was torn inside
but you are drawn to broken toys
slithering in
attaching strings
pulling tightly
reassembling me in the wrong places
close to you
close to devastation
and I stare at myself in the mirror
passing by
fleetingly
and the mausoleum opens up
disappointment erupts in my forlorn voice
and I feel the strings around my posture
around my body parts
for the first time
and that I am not really moving
and that I am not alone
because I am performing
Croque-Melpomene 