something cracks beneath the water body
it’s broken already and I try to hold it together
nobody wants to see it on my face
that there’s a shard inside
sometimes it has rough edges
sometimes it caresses
it reminds me of your death
in the most horrible way
I stand in the middle of a room
with a pain that takes over every aspect of me
I stand in your absence
and lose touch with the outside world
and descend into myself
but you’re not there
it’s parts of you that stay the same
stay alone
and sink deeper into the quicksand
they are getting heavier and heavier
the older the memory of you gets
the older I get
because you disappeared
and I’ve collected everything I could
and I have to remember
revive image after image
amidst a blinding cascade
that takes my breath away
because I need air
so much air
to dive into myself
to make my way to your fading colours
to bring memories back
that have lost their true owner
nothing resurfaces on its own accord
but when that happens it’s a wave I haven’t learned how to ride
Croque-Melpomene 