imminent | a poem

something cracks beneath the water body

it’s broken already and I try to hold it together

nobody wants to see it on my face

that there’s a shard inside

sometimes it has rough edges

sometimes it caresses

it reminds me of your death

in the most horrible way

I stand in the middle of a room

with a pain that takes over every aspect of me

I stand in your absence

and lose touch with the outside world

and descend into myself

but you’re not there

it’s parts of you that stay the same

stay alone

and sink deeper into the quicksand

they are getting heavier and heavier

the older the memory of you gets

the older I get

because you disappeared

and I’ve collected everything I could

and I have to remember

revive image after image

amidst a blinding cascade

that takes my breath away

because I need air

so much air

to dive into myself

to make my way to your fading colours

to bring memories back

that have lost their true owner

nothing resurfaces on its own accord

but when that happens it’s a wave I haven’t learned how to ride

My own drawing © Laura Gentile 2021 | Instagram: @melpomenepaintings

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