your rigid breath mummifies my spine
find me a good girl, my girl
just like you but different
you were brought to me
I taught you well
embodying me
what I need
he whispers
it’s never enough
he always comes back
I’m more
there’s more where that came from
lust is an empty coffin
his eyes are hiding in plain sight
can’t you see
his lips
his tongue
insane in his mouth
I am exposed
my legs
I am waking up
petals fall
crushed
shoved aside
there she is
my girl
look at you
little hands
stop thinking
eyes, look at me, it’s all right
there is no transgression, I create the lines
put your hands on your skin
oh, she is pretty too
to be loved
I need to work harder
to be loved
lovable
I see everything suppressed
everything torn inside
on his face, on your face
everything that I bring to the surface you say
the bad
we’re alike you stutter
the man and the child
dead inside
I’ve been barely alive
taking me
out of myself
and his eyes light up when he sees her
different
better
easier
there she is
untouched
holybody
fantasy
pirouetting
envy in my mouth
scarlet beneath my skin
poison oak
she doesn’t need to do anything
the good comes out in you
care
on your face
I am dirty
I am your shame
she deserves better
the better you
I am invisible carrying your scars
I worked so hard
to please
I thought I had to
I believed I should
I thought I was guaranteed
a place, the place in your heart
exchangeable
you didn’t need to say it
I’m dripping wet in the cold winter sun
and you salivate and glorify her
she’s only to be looked at
what a beautiful girl
serene
and you come back to me
filled with a one-sided lust, thorns
you’ll take it out on me
that she’s unattainable
protected, loved, cherished
you take it out on me
what is inside of you
wrath, prohibited, spoiled
you’re so good to me
open up
unclench your fist
you know that I love you still
you’re my girl
vacant eyes
there he is
the one who hides
and takes
and tricks me into thinking
that his rigid breath on my spine
is love
mummified.
Croque-Melpomene 