and suddenly you became very small | a poem, don’t ask me how I am if you can’t stomach the answer

I tell you what is happening inside of my body

what has been said and done

and you sink and screech that you are hurting

that you can’t take it

but it is not yours

it is mine, within me

I’m showing you everything in words

you told me tell me when you’re not feeling well

but you can’t stand, you can’t hold

you take what’s mine and scream it’s too much

that you hurt

nothing has happened to you

can you imagine what my body feels like

I carry what I tell you

I am alive

how can you look at me and decompose

and ache, taking mine and making it yours

you’re so bored it makes you unhappy

you’re not grateful that you’re okay

how did this shift happen

the worst thing that happened to me

is the worst thing you’ve heard

and you build it into you

and sell it

and reject it as mine

I’m not taking part in a trauma competition

something’s wrong

something is fake

something is so fragile

how do you even exist