saintperformance | a repertoire of red flags | a poem against vampires

how long did you expect

you could hurt me until you got a reaction?

*

you wanted me to hold still

take it all in

and now that everything you poured

into my body is boiling over

and I am finding words for the hurt you caused

and accumulated

you villainise me

and victimise yourself

you want that good light

on your face

you would never do anything bad, no

you’re not listening, you’re denying, you’re defending

nothing scratches the image you have of yourself

after all the pain you inflicted you find me too harsh

too loud, too belligerent

you have no idea what you consist of

and yet you polish your inappropriate and self-delusional halos

“Portrait of Ilonka Sándor ” by Károly Lotz (1833–1904)

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