I try to remember how I felt
before people opened me up like a drawer
and took
and took
and t o o k
*
she imagined the best moment of her life
and after it happened
everything collapsed
cards were reshuffled, cards were lost
left the playing field
new best moments
with all withs
with all withouts
*
I try to find the sound of my own voice
in the mouth that plays by your rules
*
what did you do
that made me so afraid
o f
y o u
*
isn’t it convenient for you
that memories are buried
for self-preservation
my body stored us
I know where we lie
I have all the pieces
without the sharp picture
*
you counted on taught suppression
*
y o u
m u s t
h a v e
i m a g i n e d
t h a t
*
hands on his lap
head on his lap
fingers
smell
forcing me to smile
I give in
I break
I can’t hold on
compliance promises to save me
and everything feels false
and adults disappoint me
I give myself
because I want to live
and open up my entire body
saves my soul for last
eyes on me
pieces of me buried everywhere in this house
sold to strangers
the selves you laid your hands on
that didn’t make it out alive
crowned me with your decay
giving birth to myself
giving birth to myself
giving birth to myself
Croque-Melpomene 