pretty pretty ugly | a poem against vampires

you took my childhood in your hands


you look down on me

belittle me

blowing your shadow out of proportion


I look at the faces of adults

and I can’t find life

I can’t see their souls


she paraded her body around

the wealth she inherited

without lifting a finger

the empty face

the empty eyes

she is putting on her perfect make-up

and all I sense is the deep nothingness within her


she takes your worst wound

and uses it against you

cuts you like a knife

again and again


she is so bored with her existence

she needs to take picture after picture

of her face, of her body, of her face, of her body

to realise that she is still there


she is cruel because she is bored


she tells you the truth

because she wants to see the pain infect your face


her eyes shine

in the reflection of your tear


as long as death was a spectacle

they’d take part in it


grief is not a competition


you slammed your knife into my back

and I left it there

to remember what it felt like

to trust you


the worst things that were said about me

came out of my father’s mouth


the past is the past is the past

the past is very much alive

and you can’t see it


I keep the past very close

it only takes one step

and you’re back in it

age doesn’t play a role at all


she thinks that someone must care

because she sits there crying

there must be something


she is so full of emotions

that she seeks out people devoid of them

to make life easier and bearable


and all they do is take her heart in their hands

and twist and squeeze and twist and squeeze and twist


the less they feel

the more she feels


she seeks love in vicious cycles


she goes home, she goes home forever,

but don’t forget,

home is still home, but

home has always been a scaffold


she warms up to ghosts in her bed


they treat her

according to the worst things

she tells herself

in secret

and she thinks she’s heard


only life-draining demons want to be idealised

Photo by Stacey Gabrielle Koenitz Rozells on

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