a man sits on his sofa
he sees the whole room
everything that moves
and hides from him
a woman takes his place
loss never leaves the rooms
that were built
*
I remember you as a child
in the midst of all things
with a smile on your face
what you did never crossed
my mind
*
what does it mean to trust a smile?
*
I never thought that I would experience
the world anew, without you
*
hand on my shoulder
*
there is a man outside
on the streets
drunk
the only one
he can barely walk
he looks so small through the window
but she knows
she knows
that he is a giant in the house
a ghost that fills every single room
*
I look at my mother’s pictures
and think
what did they take from you?
and
how do you get it back?
*
he eats in anger
he breathes in anger
I feel his insides in my stomach
and I eat, can barely chew
what he put on my plate
and I fought for it
one wrong gesture
or sentence
and the plate will break
*
there is a sick man at the table
head of the table
he doesn’t know
he never does
he becomes my normality
the sick head of the table
lurking
cutting meat
leaving peels of fruit
on the wooden table
leaving sleeping sons
on the floor
fully dressed
fully neglected
we ask for love in every corner of the street
*
a woman falls asleep in the middle of a room
asks me whether I want more cake
a woman in the middle of a crowd
looking for a midnight snack
and I’m so sure that I’ll never lose her
I have all the images that I can get
*
I hide behind my brother
to feel close to someone
*
I seek out my sister to mock the world
*
I remember my brother
and my entire body hurts
*
I demothered myself
because of the way my sister would look at me
*
parts of me
versions of me
are so hard to look at
*
I write with ghosts around my head
Croque-Melpomene 