Keeping you company
Was more important
Than my own life,
That’s what you taught me.
It doesn’t matter if I die
As long as I’m here for you.
It doesn’t matter if I live
If I don’t stand by you.
The only organic stir
In relation to you
Was self-preserving violence.
I wanted to live
And you were so ashamed
By what you brought
Into this world.
Looking at yourself in mirrors,
You blind fool.
You had no responsibilities,
You made all these sacrifices
That I could never find, that were never my fault,
You created us so that you could unload all of your shit onto us
And it backfired, you couldn’t stand it, us, your faces gazing back at you,
Disgusted, furious, disappointed.
You never taught us your language and
Wondered why we lived in a different world.
As we grew up you beat us down.
That was your language.
My father’s body language.
The rot coming out of the mouth.
Against women (you still smelled of them)
Against your children (I am not your possession).
My father fucks and fucks and plays the grand seducer,
And I see women fall and fall into despair and turn into little sad girls,
He was a seeker and he found what he was looking for,
A bargain hunter with a killer instinct, slow and profound,
First the mind then the body.
I see women shrink and metamorphose into caricatures
That he mocks and sucks on and moulds into bones with his spit
And he shines and gives himself applause
Because he eats us all alive and we feel oh so precious
On that silver platter.