Gourmandise | DaddyInsatiable | DaughterMemory | A Poem

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Keeping you company

Was more important

Than my own life,

That’s what you taught me.

It doesn’t matter if I die

As long as I’m here for you.

It doesn’t matter if I live

If I don’t stand by you.

The only organic stir

In relation to you

Was self-preserving violence.

I wanted to live

And you were so ashamed

By what you brought

Into this world.

Looking at yourself in mirrors,

You blind fool.

You had no responsibilities,

You made all these sacrifices

That I could never find, that were never my fault,

You created us so that you could unload all of your shit onto us

And it backfired, you couldn’t stand it, us, your faces gazing back at you,

Disgusted, furious, disappointed.

You never taught us your language and

Wondered why we lived in a different world.

As we grew up you beat us down.

That was your language.

My father’s body language.

The rot coming out of the mouth.

Against women (you still smelled of them)

Against your children (I am not your possession).

My father fucks and fucks and plays the grand seducer,

And I see women fall and fall into despair and turn into little sad girls,

He was a seeker and he found what he was looking for,

A bargain hunter with a killer instinct, slow and profound,

First the mind then the body.

I see women shrink and metamorphose into caricatures

That he mocks and sucks on and moulds into bones with his spit

And he shines and gives himself applause

Because he eats us all alive and we feel oh so precious

On that silver platter.

Zwei sich umarmende Frauen” by Egon Schiele (1890-1918)

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