I took you in
And I believed that
I had to become like you
With all the things that I wasn’t,
That I didn’t have
And I merely focused
On everything
That was negating who I was
In opposition to you,
I let myself fail and fail
And never learn,
I taught myself a lack of solace,
A continuous self-abuse,
Hearing those voices again,
Negating everything,
And I slept within the skins of madness and jealousy,
Thinking I would never find myself,
I would never find out
Who I was
And what I could do.
You loved that,
You held my hair upright
And paraded my body in the sick admiration
I nurtured for you,
The compliments you inhaled,
My entire vocabulary, my misguided love
On a silver platter
And you’d cut into me,
I exposed myself to you
And you fed yourself to death
Always wanting, needing, forcing more
Out of me, of me,
Until I heard my own name
Ring false in your throat.
Croque-Melpomene 