I write you down
Before I don’t remember you anymore.
Write you out
Of my skin
And I know that I can’t
Set myself on fire, expulse you
To what degree?
Did I have a chance,
To step out of your footsteps?
Listening to your voice, swallowing my own.
I look at you and I can barely hear you at this point.
You’re disappearing. From my flesh. The inner life.
Or maybe I’m becoming blind inside, oblivious.
You’ve dissolved without telling me who you really were.
You haunted my childhood.
Your absence, my open mouth, your screams,
Inside out, beating, skin, what did you want from me?
Your life back, life itself, everything before and after,
I was born and you let go, step by step, the more I breathed
The more you ran away from me.
You requested my presence
My holding on
To you
To drain me
Exhaust me,
Tell me all the things I do wrong
All the things that you never taught me at all
Nothing’s right.
You cling like a child, leaning on me and I just learned how to walk
And you robbed me of my language before I could speak.
Croque-Melpomene 