I write because you never heard a word I said,
Because I never found my words
In front of your face
That gargantuan blasting hole
The exasperated jaw
The shrieking symphony of violence
Bathing blood under my skin
Tearing me apart
Inside out, outside in
Your voice losing its strings
The body unleashing its force
Onto me
The body of a child
Tongues in my ear
Breath on my cheeks
Saliva on my face
Hands on me
Hands on me
In darkness
In my dreams
It was all just a dream
You have an imagination that is too vivid
For your own good
I escaped
I wanted to
Be safe
From you
Your reality
That you shoved my face in
My language in
My whole body in
Oven fires
Gasping
Touched, touched, touched amidst the flames
Cradling ashes, cradling flesh
You master of magic and resurrection
I tried to escape
Regain my strength
And you pulled and whispered
What have I done
I invented words for my protection
For your protection
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What is your voice doing in my head?
What is your scent doing on my skin?
What is your language doing in my mouth?
Your thoughts in my flesh?
Dancing to your tune
Tripping over, falling over, losing balance,
And you will look at me
Freedom is something you took
You needed company to suck on
You needed company in your darkness
And you’d never want to get better,
Rise out of your misery,
You’d want me there
A child living on survival mechanisms.
Croque-Melpomene 