There are moments
Stones thrown at my stomach
That drain me
Feel like an implosion
Underneath my skin
Your death that is so alive
In my body
Your jump that
Hurts my bones
Your heart that is no more
Its echoes in my brain
The voice
The scent
The smile
Just burn and burn and
Take me straight down to hell
Straight down the bridge
And I want to live
Live with this
I have to
If I want to live
Live with this
Every single day I start myself anew
With this scar I never wanted
This scar I never know you felt
This scar on my body
In my body
That I carry now
Without my consent
The horror sticks
The love sticks
I’m overwhelmed
These images overwhelm me
Disturb me, shocked my system
I am still in this world
That you turned your back on
I am still here
Barely breathing
Without you on my mind
The pit in my stomach
The heat in my stomach
Round and round
I dream please don’t be dead
Please don’t be dead
Please don’t be dead
Your dead face hits me
There it is
The lifeless body of you
On the ground
Where somebody found you
Where somebody picked you up
And I can’t understand
I am bursting, this death tears me apart
Please come back to me, I stop myself there,
I know you’re here, I know what is possible,
But I am alive, you see, I am right within it all
And I will be for as long as I can
So please help me cope with this
I am desperate
You are everywhere
I lost you
I ache
Death came as a choir.
Croque-Melpomene 