I held you, absorbing every
Single trace of your pain,
Your body, electric, in my arms,
On a dirty floor where no one ever
Belonged, we sat there, in a brew
Of heartache and hopelessness.
We should have had our backs,
But truly we didn’t. And yet.
We were there, together, rock bottom,
Bathroom stall, cigarettes and booze,
Teenage girls, feeling in extremes,
Unable to let go, thinking the world
Would collapse if he left, but he already
Did, a million times before, going
To other girls and back to you, to us all.
You could take so much. You shouldn’t have had to.
Who were you trying to impress?
You held on to the idea you had of him in your
Mind. He took advantage of it.
He’d always play with it. And make you crumble.
He pushed you into self-destruction.
He couldn’t give you what you deserved.
Every torment he put you through
You interpreted as a sign that you were worthless
And unlovable. He played with that too.
Abused the holes you’d fall into and when you
Pressed that blade against your skin,
He’d pretend to be your saviour and
Shut the door to knock some sense into you.