Revelations of a Violent Body: A Poem

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I waited for you in front of locked doors.

Questions surrounding your absence that

Never found answers or explanations.

A comatose bond, aching in silence, in death

Upon skin and hair, through your body into mine.

 

Twitching across misunderstandings, violence

On our tongues, eruption and self-defence.

You incarnated terror and compassion, you,

The endlessly cryptic embodiment of contradictions.

Stumbling across our bodies, punching and loving,

Maybe, we never learned how in each other’s presence.

 

When I wanted you away from me, you held on to me.

You pulled and begged. I finally found my own voice again.

I could finally breathe. You still made me feel uncomfortable.

You want me to get stuck in your rhythm. You want me to come

Back. I cannot let you take over my body again. Let you use it

For your purposes. You cross lines, you ignore alarm signs.

 

I look at you through glass. I’ve felt you enough for a lifetime.

I’ve been left alone with the scars that you burned into my skin.

The broken rotten eggs leaking within my mind, that you shattered

And distributed, vandalising every part of me, I carried you around,

Until I amputated what caused me an unbearable and irrepressible

Suffering that had never been mine and always belonged to you.

grayscale photo of woman
Photo by Gor Gevorgyan on Pexels.com

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