He joined her. His head next to hers
On the pillow. Her tears sinking into
His skin. And he looked into her eyes,
Tumultuous, in a different world, he
Looked at her, without access, mouthing
His love to her, to bring her back, to make
Her realise that his body is next to hers.
The deep bright lights of the ocean, the fires.
In her eyes and he thought she’s disappearing.
That something is drawn to her, grabbing her from
Unseen spaces, within herself, her body, deeply
Unseen, undiscovered, and he starts to ache, as he
Cannot hold her, her eyes not blinking, tears rolling
Down her cheeks still, and he starts to doubt himself.
A woman who chases the deadness within pillow-worlds.
Staring into what he describes as a void. Where he feels
Weightless, powerless, a chess game that he will lose.
Something in him gets so frustrated that he feels seduced
To use violence, against her, that invisible force within her,
For them both, to rescue her from the voices within.
She has no words to describe the terrors moving inside of her.
She has no vocabulary. She just lies there and lets them walk
All over her, through her, never out of her. They besiege her brain
And put words not in her mouth but in her mind, evoking images
Using everything against her, speechless and impactful,
His incapacity to help her, to know what to do, understand the face
On her face, makes them thrive.
Until she holds his hand again, coming back to him, after
Inner conversations, and whispers,
That’s enough of you today
And opens a window.
Croque-Melpomene 