He joined her. His head next to hers

On the pillow. Her tears sinking into

His skin. And he looked into her eyes,

Tumultuous, in a different world, he

Looked at her, without access, mouthing

His love to her, to bring her back, to make

Her realise that his body is next to hers.

 

The deep bright lights of the ocean, the fires.

In her eyes and he thought she’s disappearing.

That something is drawn to her, grabbing her from

Unseen spaces, within herself, her body, deeply

Unseen, undiscovered, and he starts to ache, as he

Cannot hold her, her eyes not blinking, tears rolling

Down her cheeks still, and he starts to doubt himself.

 

A woman who chases the deadness within pillow-worlds.

Staring into what he describes as a void. Where he feels

Weightless, powerless, a chess game that he will lose.

Something in him gets so frustrated that he feels seduced

To use violence, against her, that invisible force within her,

For them both, to rescue her from the voices within.

 

She has no words to describe the terrors moving inside of her.

She has no vocabulary. She just lies there and lets them walk

All over her, through her, never out of her. They besiege her brain

And put words not in her mouth but in her mind, evoking images

Using everything against her, speechless and impactful,

His incapacity to help her, to know what to do, understand the face

On her face, makes them thrive.

 

Until she holds his hand again, coming back to him, after

Inner conversations, and whispers,

That’s enough of you today

And opens a window.

woman looking up with hand on chin
Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

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