No matter how immoral their actions would be,
You always sided with them, convinced of their loyalty,
That they’d transfer their strength and authority to you,
Save you, give you shelter. You never understood that their
Company would make you freeze even more, alienate you
From yourself. You put on a blindfold, glossing over all of their errors
And betrayals, they themselves didn’t even need to justify their actions anymore.
I wondered what I could learn from you.
I could just watch you, listen to your fabricated
Net of deceit and lies. How you fooled yourself into a corner.
Their voices would make you bow, their sex an ice pick getting too
Close to your heart. The vessel is so empty it can never get full.
You make yourself leak to erase all the false history, the truth as well,
The never-ending humiliation that you embraced in your life.
I look at you and ask myself where it’s coming from.
This self-torturing submission. Why do you love men
In this horrid way? Why are you on your knees for their sins?
Why are you the one paying? And why do they enjoy seeing
You on the floor, destroyed and whining? Until their nerves crack
And they’ll show you how they love.
You know that their belt and their sex are equal.
There are only a few rooms to run into.
But they all reflect the same storylines and memories.
Why would you await their drunkenness, the empty suitcase
Begging you. You think that because you know what is going to
Happen to you, you can turn into a cobblestone that he won’t find,
He, the man, who falls back into his childhood with every sip and
All grown, imitates his father and tears the house down.
And you think a million thoughts before you can take action.
Every single contemplation erases the action,
Is a doubt, is fear, is false hope, means consequences and you
Are convinced that you will not be able to survive.
He is attracted to you because you are his opposite,
Attracted to beating you, demolishing you, reduce you to nothingness.
Your powerlessness makes him so powerful
And he shuts the empty suitcase.
“Zorka in a red Armchair” by József Rippl-Rónai ( 1861-1927)
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Published by Croque-Melpomene
My name is Laura Gentile. I’m of German-Italian descent and I speak five languages such as English, German, French, Italian, Luxembourgish and I’m currently learning Romanian.
I hold a Master of Arts Degree in English Literature, Film and Visual Culture (Dissertation: The Decadent in Love with his Psychopomp: Thomas Mann's 'Death in Venice' and Adrian Lyne's 'Lolita') and a Master of Letters by Research in English Literature, Film and Visual Culture (Thesis: Romanticising Decadence and Aestheticising Death: Women as Projection Bodies and Mimetic Identities in Zola’s 'Thérèse Raquin', Schnitzler’s 'Dream Story', Süskind’s 'Perfume: The Story of a Murderer' and Eugenides’ 'The Virgin Suicides').
My poetry and short stories have been published in two anthologies entitled 'Shaking Thoughts' and 'Until Forever Becomes The End', both edited by Joan Barbara Simon PhD PhD, leading to a prose and poetry recital called 'Silence Breakers' at the Libreria Altrimenti in Luxembourg.
My article on 'Biblical Imagery and Apocalyptic Visions in Films' written for the university course 'Film And Popular Culture' was published in a Luxembourgish film magazine named 'Graffiti'.
My work was chosen as obligatory reading for the academic course 'Creative Writing' at the University of Luxembourg and was the focus of the students’ exam portfolio. I was invited by the University of Luxembourg to do a workshop on my short story 'Prophets of the Streetlight' for the 'Creative Writing' course, including a reading and a Q&A.
In 2013, I published my own collection of short stories and poetry entitled 'Seraphic Addiction', which led to an invitation by Ara City Radio to do an interview and a reading on air.
Consequently I was encouraged to create my own radio show called 'Chasse-Sirène' surrounding literature, films, music and art.
Furthermore, I am the official German translator of Joan Barbara Simon’s 'Verses Nature' trilogy.
My debut novel, 'Within Paravent Walls', will be published by WiDo Publishing / E. L. Marker.
I am the creator of "Croque-Melpomene: Femalecentric Poetry" and I have a YouTube channel carrying the same name.
I am a weekly blogger for RTL Today, a major European media platform.
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