I stand in my own way all the time.
I think that I am a certain way,
But act and think in another.
I can only see so far.
Everything irritates me,
Craving to float above them all.
But I’ll wrestle my way through the
Disregarding masses and talk to
Myself, huff and puff, and act in a way
That I’ve found repulsive since being a child.
It is too much, standing in a sea of egos.
Bubble against bubble, needles left and right.
I wear a dress made out of heavy grey clouds.
It has a trail, dragging me back to yesteryears.
It envelops my head and closes my eyes to who
I really am. It can suffocate an entire room.
And I look in the mirror and it seems golden.
My skin torn, my nails, my grandmother’s hands.
My mother’s sounds in my head.
The ebbing and flooding of my father’s behaviour.
My grandfather’s smokescreen, all connected.
Scratching the skin, the layers of me, the dress.
Walking through my own mud and get stuck in
Inherited ways. Transcend, transcend the smog of history.
“Female Portrait” by József Rippl-Rónai (1861-1927)
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My name is Laura Gentile. I’m of German-Italian descent and I speak five languages such as English, German, French, Italian, Luxembourgish and I’m currently learning Romanian.
I hold a Master of Arts Degree in English Literature, Film and Visual Culture (Dissertation: The Decadent in Love with his Psychopomp: Thomas Mann's 'Death in Venice' and Adrian Lyne's 'Lolita') and a Master of Letters by Research in English Literature, Film and Visual Culture (Thesis: Romanticising Decadence and Aestheticising Death: Women as Projection Bodies and Mimetic Identities in Zola’s 'Thérèse Raquin', Schnitzler’s 'Dream Story', Süskind’s 'Perfume: The Story of a Murderer' and Eugenides’ 'The Virgin Suicides').
My debut novel, 'Within Paravent Walls', will be published by WiDo Publishing / E. L. Marker.
I am the creator of "Croque-Melpomene: Femalecentric Poetry" and I have a YouTube channel carrying the same name.
Find me here:
YouTube: Croque-Melpomene
Twitter: lauragentile13
Pinterest: lauragentile12
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LinkedIn: Laura Gentile
Contact Email Address: croquemelpomene@gmail.com
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