I could hold her through everything.
As a child I had been familiarised with
The worst feelings. I never shied away.
When she caught a glimpse of that unique
Tear-splattered world. When it slapped her, too,
Once in a while. She would enter my dead end fairy tale.
I felt so lonely, I wanted to keep her there, next to me.
Everything had a sense of the extreme, the fed and the matured.
I couldn’t understand how she was able to not be swallowed by it all.
What was the difference, then, between us both?
Why couldn’t I make a step forward without falling on my back?
Without being held back? I understood that I was born in it.
And she wasn’t. And she had immediate hands helping her out
From above the shadows, the mud, the land of deep despair.
And I had been bathed in it since the beginning of me.
“Weiblicher Halbakt” by Otto Theodore Gustav Lingner (1856-1917)