syllables | grief poetry

I have been looking for my brother ever since

that’s what I am doing

I am trying to bring someone home who has left the world

I eat and hope that you can taste the food

I watch a movie knowing that you’re watching my face

what did you think

I’m not alone in my body anymore

I have made space

for you

after death

I am in a dialogue with silence

waiting for your face

on my wall

what am I looking for

what am I waiting for

I am so open maybe I’m too torn

a chasm belongs to my body disconnected

open-mouthed

electroshocked

a smile carved with a knife

I’ve missed the slice that was supposed to nurture me

and you keep falling

you keep breaking into hundreds of splinters

within yourself

into the pit where my love hits a wall

I have been looking for my brother ever since

around the edges of all things