Farbauftrag | poetry

when I write about you

you’re back in the room with me

*

and it feels like nothing

within you

ever broke

*

I carry your ring with me in my pocket

despite my daily fear of losing it

*

when I write about what it means

to me

that you’re dead

that you were alive

a part of you appears

without vocabulary

*

when I write about how I departed from your body

with ever-unfinished goodbyes and unanswered comebacks

with stretched-out hands

I am finding my place in your death

*

when I am writing about the face that wasn’t yours anymore

I admit that I’m haunted

because it doesn’t fade away

it reminds me that you didn’t want to survive the injuries