I left fragments of myself
in the women I sought out
I absorbed parts of them that pleased me
that sustained me
kept me company
and held me when my mother wouldn’t
when my mother became very small
and untouchable
I sought out older women
and fed myself
I let them in and kept them locked in one place
never to reveal myself fully
stay there
a gallery of women
who form an image of me
they hold on to me
and what I promised to give
never said I would
I am running away
I’m always a fugitive
my mother comes back to me
and I share our lies
and forget about the rage
that drove me out of the house
that smelled of my father’s cancerous infidelities
of my brother’s all-consuming madness
of my sister’s obsolete martyrdom
Croque-Melpomene 