alleinstehend | a poem

empty-bodied men left pieces of themselves everywhere

they walk to work, left their face in bed

they come home, they don’t like the face they shed

it doesn’t fit

it doesn’t feel like me

get me out of this house

away from these children

mine

this country

I’m in this body

keeping my language

keeping my dialect

I bury a country within me that doesn’t exist anymore

not for me

I created a new world

that I’m not a part of

my children pull me in

and I discard them

I don’t know what they want from me

I don’t want anything from them

I am alone

I stand abandoned

I don’t belong

I’m in my head

she looks at me

and sees that I want to leave

and I do

and I do

and I do

but I always come back

because death sent me here

in the first place

I’m told that here

I’m supposed to live

and I keep my children by my side

when nobody is looking

because I’m a boy

hunted

who can’t stay alone

and they keep me company

and I don’t say a word

they grow up and become strangers

and I recognise myself

before I turned into myself

My own drawing © Laura Gentile 2022 | Instagram: @melpomenepaintings

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