fidelio | a poem

you died

and I saw you

e v e r y w h e r e


and what did you think would happen

if I moved in a bed of shards


I mistrusted men’s intentions when they came close to me

since girlhood I observed what kind I attracted

and who I became when I let them touch me

I degraded myself in my own body

and they were satisfied

and I was horrified


whining behind the tip of the tongue

paralysed behind the front teeth

the word no couldn’t be formed


and why did you hold his hand

and why did you smile

and why

and why


I’d approach the beast

to soften the blow

to convince myself

that I’m in control


to make their bestiality mine

to turn it into something that couldn’t harm me


alcohol unbottled everything they were dreaming of


I abandoned the idea of love

and crawled into a hole

and I lay consecrated by vermin

My own drawing © Laura Gentile 2021 | Instagram: @melpomenepaintings

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