you discarded your torments into the bodies of women
unwelcoming and unbecoming
and should they raise their voices against your force-fed tyranny
you’d put your grown man’s hands on a girl’s neck and blame the alcohol
*
you violated the body in such a way that only the soul would know
*
you dismembered my voice
and robbed me of my utmost power
the ability to formulate a sentence
*
my mouth contained your words
*
the ones who knew what was wrong with me
also knew that they were what’s wrong with me
*
I’d absorb their shame
and embody their shame
seeking me out when nobody was looking
*
she knew and thought
as long as it’s not me
*
women who hated their own bodies
so that men could hate them too
and nobody had anything to give
*
because if you hate something
you don’t care if someone destroys it
*
it’s easier for someone else to destroy
what belongs to you
*
and what they are allowed to destroy
will quickly perish
and bore
*
and that’s the point
to fall into oblivion
and feel nothing
a forlorn target off the radar
*
encouraged lifelessness
they just wanted a good fight
but they didn’t hold on to life
Croque-Melpomene 