swallowed knot voices | a poem

you discarded your torments into the bodies of women

unwelcoming and unbecoming

and should they raise their voices against your force-fed tyranny

you’d put your grown man’s hands on a girl’s neck and blame the alcohol


you violated the body in such a way that only the soul would know


you dismembered my voice

and robbed me of my utmost power

the ability to formulate a sentence


my mouth contained your words


the ones who knew what was wrong with me

also knew that they were what’s wrong with me


I’d absorb their shame

and embody their shame

seeking me out when nobody was looking


she knew and thought

as long as it’s not me


women who hated their own bodies

so that men could hate them too

and nobody had anything to give


because if you hate something

you don’t care if someone destroys it


it’s easier for someone else to destroy

what belongs to you


and what they are allowed to destroy

will quickly perish

and bore


and that’s the point

to fall into oblivion

and feel nothing

a forlorn target off the radar


encouraged lifelessness

they just wanted a good fight

but they didn’t hold on to life

My own drawing © Laura Gentile 2021 | Instagram: @melpomenepaintings

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