I write from a sense of urgency
*
I write because you wouldn’t let me speak
*
I don’t speak the way I write
*
get used to it
*
you are reading yourself
*
whatever comes to mind
whoever comes to mind
*
don’t lie to yourself
*
I write because you held my head underwater
*
what you read
is not necessarily what I have written
*
you brought me here
and conveyed to me that the reason why I’m alive
is you
and that whoever I think I am
is non-existent and inconsequential
*
he wants to shut down my grief
it’s enough now
pull yourself together
it happened
get over it
his shame comes close to me
his anguish, his fragility
his violent silence
his sick, contaminated posture
that I’m supposed to obey and mimic
but before he could put his broken hands on me
she put an end to it
she let me be
she let me mourn
don’t you dare come between me and my grief
*
he looks at me
and imagines how I should be
*
I was born with a voice
and conditioned to split it in two
one to keep to myself
the other to appease men
*
you put things into me
that you wanted me to forget
but you never stopped revisiting them
*
I never felt whole
when you preached that I belonged to you
*
everything looked too inviting
to be falling apart
Croque-Melpomene 