a c k n o w l e d g e m e n t | a grief poem

grief is a part of my body now

it is the body

the body is missing someone

the senses

the mind reminds the body if need be

brings up the images

there you have it, see

and sometimes it’s the mind that can’t stand its own images

and goes back to your face when it was alive

grief is a part of my body now

and I thought that I’d figured it out

it looks like me looking for you

it looks like you, out of reach

they treat me as if you hadn’t existed

they treat me as if your death never happened

your life never happened

as if time healed the wounds of your absence

as if it’s time to stop grieving

stop mourning

stop loving

they say it’s unimaginable

and they don’t, yet they speak

and nothing comforts me that comes out of their mouths

or they don’t say anything

they pretend that

I’m all right

they’re all right

the world is quite all right

a c k n o w l e d g e m e n t

that’s the hardest thing isn’t it

it seems

I don’t need you to believe what I know

that my brother is with me all the time

but don’t treat me as if I stopped being a sister

death doesn’t make my brother disappear

my brother had a life

my brother had a death

my brother is a part of me

and I won’t be cut into pieces

so that you feel comfortable