evocative dreamscapes | motherland | self-invocation | a poem, unnerved

where am I when I’m dreaming

do I go back

fall back

into a pit of things that have never occurred

or that I shouldn’t remember

am I raw

most vulnerable

in my own skin

or far beyond

my innermost self

bound to timeless effortless spheres

not to my flesh and blood

who am I then

in the land of dreams and recollections and harvests

who is picking me up

will it hurt

will you hurt me

again and again

find me wherever I go

whenever I shut my eyes

will you resurface within images

of yourself

distorted, hidden, clandestine, undigested

what do you mean

within me

what is stirring still

lurking, voices that I’ve always heard,

mouths close to my ear,

growing thicker and thinner

nearer and far away

I carry them around

and around

jumping up in continuous rotation

what do they need from me

what do you want from me

sailing within my body

moulding my skull

am I still here

am I still in there

when I’m dreaming

is this where and when we all come together

I never made it to my tree

that night

when I thought that I’d confront you

I stood in front of my reflection on a glass door

and saw across from my transparent self

my mother waking up in her bed

My own drawing © Laura Gentile 2021 | Instagram: @melpomenepaintings

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