where am I when I’m dreaming
do I go back
fall back
into a pit of things that have never occurred
or that I shouldn’t remember
am I raw
most vulnerable
in my own skin
or far beyond
my innermost self
bound to timeless effortless spheres
not to my flesh and blood
who am I then
in the land of dreams and recollections and harvests
who is picking me up
will it hurt
will you hurt me
again and again
find me wherever I go
whenever I shut my eyes
will you resurface within images
of yourself
distorted, hidden, clandestine, undigested
what do you mean
within me
what is stirring still
lurking, voices that I’ve always heard,
mouths close to my ear,
growing thicker and thinner
nearer and far away
I carry them around
and around
jumping up in continuous rotation
what do they need from me
what do you want from me
sailing within my body
moulding my skull
am I still here
am I still in there
when I’m dreaming
is this where and when we all come together
I never made it to my tree
that night
when I thought that I’d confront you
I stood in front of my reflection on a glass door
and saw across from my transparent self
my mother waking up in her bed
Croque-Melpomene 