two-faced doll on the wall | a cautionary poem standing still

I’ve got an ugly, ugly doll in my bedroom

a doll I can’t play with

because she plays with me

she pretends that she is a feathergirl

but she is a heavyweight

I smashed her against the wall one night

because she is an ugly, ugly doll

pretending to be pretty

pretending to be kind

and she makes me sick to my stomach

because she is all smiles

and plays too nice

too good to be true

she lies all the time

and tells me I’m wrong

I’m delusional

and smiles with her head against the wall

the pain on my face

she smiles because emptiness is a feather

and she performs so well

I gave her applause when I thought she was real

and I realised that she wasn’t

because my wounds never started to heal