I missed the moment in your life,
The moment, invisible, unpredictable,
Unimaginable, in which you made your
Peace with death, with your death, you,
The funny radiant man with a smile on his
Face, a joke on the lips, you said yes to death
And I didn’t know, I didn’t see, I didn’t foresee,
How could you not let us in, how could you just
Disappear?
You never wanted to be touched, you never talked
About emotional matters, sometimes, maybe, with a selected
Group of people, and yet, nobody saw this coming, nobody
Thought that you’d be willing to end your life at any given point,
You were so free, the thought of your own death set you free, put a smile
On your face, a sense of humour to bear it all, the immense
Hardships in this world, you felt them all, without and within yourself,
And the idea that you were free to go whenever it all became too much,
Liberated you, elated you, lightened you, that you could choose,
That you had chosen, and I couldn’t see it, couldn’t detect it,
I never thought that inviting death into your life was what kept you alive.
