I stayed long enough to witness what you would
Do to her, to me, eventually. I needed to know for sure.
I needed to hit that spot of no return within myself.
Maybe you never knew better, but I can’t accept that as
An excuse for anything anymore.
You had no self-control. You lived in a different reality.
You never understood or believed the world you created
For me. You painted it pitch black, exitless, merciless, like
Yourself. I comprehended too late that the reality you
Laid out for me was a projection of yourself. I wouldn’t
Swallow that poison anymore.
Every movement of your body increased my fear of death.
Every word you spoke created crevice after crevice in
My self-esteem. I fell into my own self, losing everything,
You taught me to absorb everything, no questions asked,
For a reason, so you could do whatever you wanted.
I was your experiment to see how far you could go.
And I took it and took it, I thought, at the end of this
Nightmare might be a dream come true, love instead
Of hate, but you swallowed me alive, the massive
Gulp, remorselessly, without ever looking back in regret.