Losing Faith In The Warmth Of Your Body: A Poem

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I stayed long enough to witness what you would

Do to her, to me, eventually. I needed to know for sure.

I needed to hit that spot of no return within myself.

Maybe you never knew better, but I can’t accept that as

An excuse for anything anymore.

 

You had no self-control. You lived in a different reality.

You never understood or believed the world you created

For me. You painted it pitch black, exitless, merciless, like

Yourself. I comprehended too late that the reality you

Laid out for me was a projection of yourself. I wouldn’t

Swallow that poison anymore.

 

Every movement of your body increased my fear of death.

Every word you spoke created crevice after crevice in

My self-esteem. I fell into my own self, losing everything,

You taught me to absorb everything, no questions asked,

For a reason, so you could do whatever you wanted.

 

I was your experiment to see how far you could go.

And I took it and took it, I thought, at the end of this

Nightmare might be a dream come true, love instead

Of hate, but you swallowed me alive, the massive

Gulp, remorselessly, without ever looking back in regret.

grayscale photo of woman face
Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy on Pexels.com

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