I understood what awaited me.
I would never be able to touch you again.
My mind tells me you’re here, I show you,
My heart knows the truth. And my stomach burns
This hole into my chest, again, every time I doze
Off into memories, with you, by my side, your scent,
Everlasting. I let you sink in, the end of you as we knew
Each other and I think it will go on, with you, invisibly.
I can still see the chuckling child within you.
How your body sat on that wall.
Observing the day go by.
The questions you asked. Coming home, knowing
You were there. Your scent contained within
The blanket. The texture of fortresses.
You, the woman who made flowers blossom.
And we created a language together.
You had a courage that was inimitable.
That made me love you.
How you could be so lighthearted despite
The horrors we faced.
The way your body vibrated when you laughed.
There were no lies whatsoever in your laughter.
When I lost you, I shoved all the bad things about
You aside. I had learned those lessons and let them go.
I wanted to keep you in the light that you deserved.
I stem from your body, from your skin, and I keep you
Here, with me, I listen to our songs, the ones that came
Out of your mouth, a voice that I will hold on to forever.