Caught in a spider web thinking you’re safe

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I had never seen her find her own courage.

She’d rather crumble and drown in her fears and irrationality

Than do the right thing and speak up for once in her life.

She’d always side with bullies because she felt how weak she was.

It was so frustrating to watch her and try to rely on her even a little.

She will never have one’s back because she doesn’t even have hers.

 

The little docile mouse playing nice with everybody, secretly

Wishing herself away, back to her own bed, in her familiar

Fucked-up shelter, her fantasy world, no she didn’t want to become

A woman. Have a voice, use it to speak truths, maybe her own for once.

This passivity drove me up a wall. The way she burned inside yet pretended

That she was so very fine.

 

She made her bed in the victimisation trap. Don’t make me speak, I’m a victim.

Don’t touch me, I’m a victim. Don’t make me go out there, I’m a victim.

Just let me lie here all day long, life passing by, safe, safe, safe.

Guess what, you’re also a bullying participant, passive yet supportive.

Great way of dealing with your issues, your victimhood status, your way through and out.

You’re so fucking scared all the time it makes me want to puke. I know the feeling,

But I don’t take pride in my good morals whilst watching others being harmed.

You think you can have it all on other people’s pseudo high horses. Get the hell off.

 

Asking you for support makes me chuckle today. You’d probably even watch those closest to

You get burned. Paralysed yourself. Threw away all your capacities.

As long as you’re safe. Doesn’t matter what happens around you.

Everybody will be fine, what role could you possibly play?

What difference could you make? Congratulations, now you made me believe

That you have nothing to offer too. Does that make you feel good?

I’ve seen so much in you, but you single-handedly eviscerated everything.

What does it matter what I think? Nothing to you anyway. I don’t care.

I just need to heal myself from your revolting toxicity,

The crippling taste you left behind.

woman in black jacket standing near brown plants
Photo by Alina Vilchenko on Pexels.com

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