I saw it from the very beginning.
That you were the kind of fucked-up
That I didn’t want to handle anymore.
I thought it was too late and I tried to make the best
Out of the situation. At my cost. What a fucking disaster.
I certainly learned this mammoth of a lesson.
Your parents should have paid me for all the adult babysitting.
To think that you are unleashed, oh, what the world has to take.
Never tying my life to yours would have been a first class decision.
Guess we all have to fall on our faces from time to time.
You could only stand tall with your boot on my cheek.
Sometimes I can’t believe the amount of shit I took from you
With a fucking smile on my face, all of that rubbish down
My throat into my system. What the hell was I even afraid of?
I had seen and survived worse things than you already.
You had always been a little spoiled insignificant princess.
I preferred to ingest your poison instead of smashing and splashing it right back
Across your provocative and childish face, instead of hurting you I hurt myself.
To avoid the same old confrontation, the explosion of the ticking time bomb.
I’d jump into that arena with you any day now over accommodating you and keeping
You calm. You had always been a lost cause. I never stood a chance in all of your
Dreadful tales. Yes, you the great heroine. What you have to endure, oh, yes, the sheer
You needed a red carpet everywhere you went and oh beware, should
People not like you. I can’t believe that I taught myself and tricked myself into
Looking up to you instead of admitting who you really were and run the fuck away
From you as fast as I possibly could. I made a fool of myself befriending someone
Volatile and out to destroy and antagonise, ensnare and tear apart.
Expelling you feels so good. The rotten overshadows the mildly good.
It is so dark, where is the little dot? You never asked yourself what you
Could have possibly done wrong, it had been always been the fault of other
People. You should go back to kindergarten. Catch up, you are so behind.
I know that you intended to hurt me as much as I allowed you to.
I’ve let myself be martyred. I thought I needed your stupid petty arrows
In my flesh to survive. I actually believed that.
You needed to be complimented and pushed, your ass needed to be kissed
Every single day. You’d always drain so quickly and your self-esteem was handed
To you from the outside. I fed you. Gave you everything I had and you sucked me dry.
And still you’d look at me with that accusatory gaze and gaslighting mouth.
You cannot be saved. Not by me. Take a bath in your own shit and get it together.
I took myself out of the equation a long time ago and, baby, life is so good without you.