She endured his stomping body, his hollering voice.

Her hands were too exhausted to form a fist.

And she clenched her jaw to not make a sound.

Every single word would be wrong, would enrage him more.

Audacious. He needed to vent and she was forced into silence.

And I looked at her in my head, hearing his circus in the kitchen.

How could she find the courage to walk out on a defeated man?

 

I cannot grow in these parameters, I refuse to, there is no air.

She had it in her, it needed to be excavated, her autonomy,

Her freedom. To act despite her accumulating fears.

To draw a million lines across his body that shouted separation.

He had villainised her for too long in his night-time performances.

She abdicated the leading part in his narcissistic madhouse.

He buried himself in his detrimental fantasies and he couldn’t take her down with him.

Helleu_-_Peggy_Letellier

“Peggy Letellier” by Paul César Helleu (1859-1927)

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