You would never understand your own blindness.
When it comes to her. She only sees herself, there is no room
For you and you keep begging and degrading yourself.
She had uttered the worst words against you and yet you
Wanted to be seen and loved by her. You never understood that
It would never happen. Their lies, interwoven, would never sound false
To you, but promising, never disappointing, abusive, intrusive.
Why would you let her back in? Haven’t you learned how she
Functions the way she treats other people and looks down on them all?
She doesn’t differentiate. You’re still chasing her, believing in a better version.
Idealisation never reaches the truth. She offers you her own image, what you
Envy for yourself, and you push yourself into the background trying to be her.
It will never happen, no matter how close you keep her, she will devour your
Entire identity. She takes advantage of the fact that she is completely invisible to you.
“Portrait of Madame de Genlis” by Adélaïde Labille-Guiard (1749-1803)
Croque-Melpomene 